i feel guilty for kissing another guy

Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A I'm disgusted with myself to think I would do that after just the tiniest bit of attention and flattery. I dont know what else to do. I could go on about a lot of things here. I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. There was a lot of biting and groping going on, because, you know, the guys were giving it their best shot. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. 3. Hey all. What if they were married? I took the ride. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. Login first If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. Why stab your partner in the heart, just to see if the relationship will still survive? Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. Bringing this up is only going to hurt your SO. So she left after a couple of replies. It felt so wrong and taboo yet so erotic and a sort of thrilling jealousy! If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. Houston? Well you need to figure that out and fast. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. (Got me cracked) 24 If you are separated, you aren't doing anything wrong. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. The playing field is even now according to statistics. You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. For what possible reason? An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. I recall an incident years ago, we were very young, just teenagers, and a girl planted a big kiss on my hubby (then boyfriend) on a night out. A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. Can you tthan please explain this? Past is something you cannot change. See what she has to say. Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. I wouldn't want him around the person. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? Go cold turkey. I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), but then I was cheated on for years by ExH and I would now put myself first. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. I get the whole 'not wanting to hurt him' thing but, to some people at least, a kiss is very much cheating and so the SO deserves to know what happened right? Some song came on and it was a soppy song and we were both singing along. Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. True mistakes get owned and rectified. Sorry, you two, I'm not ignoring you, just super-super-busy at the mo. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. I regret waiting so long to tell him.-2 months. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. FoxieLadie is After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. This thread has expired - why not start your own? Assistir Chelsea X Leeds - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. female How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. Tell your husband. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. I agree. Shes Colombian and very fiery. I rang the guy and said ' oh wow, so last night, that really happened, what the hell where we at? ' Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. Should I ask him for gas money? This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! (I wonder why.) I am giving him space to think. Before delving into my own personal story, Id like to address this subject generally. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it's not. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! Any help or advise would be much appreciated. response. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. He is a good person and a good husband and I love him very much. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. What does it mean for my marriage? SOULMATE is totally right and we all know it. If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. Lets get down to the basics here. Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. Well, now, that little lot *definitely* counts as 'debate fodder' relevant to this whole issue, rather than pure chit-chat. It didn't feel real. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! All of sudden my guy friend stopped texting me good morning and good night Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. The short answer to your question, for this BPD is: No, I don't feel guilty. However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too. With or without the same seniority. (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. Wow! Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A Houston, this team needs to rectify the causes or agree to seek outside help in it whilst this one team member needs to atone for having almost embarked on a hurtful and potentially damaging test unilaterally without her teammate's consent. I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you it's okay. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. = I'VE ONLY GOT HIS WORD FOR IT. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. The way it happened-not so good! What isn't, is If I receive a text from someone that is flirtatious in anyway, I test the person back and tell them that I do not want anymore flirtatious texts and if we are friends then they need to respect my relationship. No, you don't. That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. Evidently. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. And then continued behaving like friends as if the mere certificate would do the work and promotion parts for you (or, alternatively, continued accepting the fact that ONE friend couldn't quite dare up his friendship ante to where you felt sated in the affection and attention worthy of marriage department) To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. There is more going on. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. You're denying him that right and being selfish. I know true remorse when I see it. i asked him how he'd feel if i went and made out with another man in front of him. Even so, you might find that you are still attracted to other people. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. [3] you couldn't extend to him the same courtesy he'd already extended to *you* (i.e. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. One of the best ways is to offer effective apologies. Don't feel guilty. If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. I had text my husband so he knew where I was and that was ok. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A I couldnt take it so I told him. Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. Funny, I have never gotten amorous when I have had too much to drink. [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? It's not fair they didn't ask for it. It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. Do you? I was very drunk. She may say that. (SK: no, it's just one of those places that's never appealed, holiday-wise, no doubt exacerbated by the fact I don't like long-haul flights for how they literally do my head in (think it's the aircon gas plus oxygen deprivation (don't get me started)) often lasting for a whole week afterwards, which isn't exactly what I call having a nice time.) Not just what I did but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. How is that beneficial to him? Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. I mean that in a funny way. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. But for me, it was. (SK, that award doesn't exist. Or do I? Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. That is what separates the women from the girls. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. , By entering this site you declare I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again. You cheated. If this is bothering you, then tell him. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. I just knew it. We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. Almost a year ago I began university, my boyfriend and I decided we would do long distance and we are still together now. To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). If he is nervous at you looking at his messages and also refuses to tell you who she is, he is hiding quite alot. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. :-). I felt disorientated. Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person.

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